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Politics
Obama betrays fellow countryman
BEAUCE, PQ – Conservative Leader Andrew Scheer has been let down by his fellow American, Barack Obama, after he opted to endorse Liberal Leader Justin Trudeau in a tweet. “I have been…
Breaking: Man publicly announces he is no longer supporting party he never supported
AJAX, ON – Local man Alex Tandhoff has announced that he is changing his support from one political party to another despite having never voted or shown support for the party and leader he …
Kinky democracy lovers reach peak arousal placing ballot in box
OTTAWA – This week’s advanced polls for the federal election were chock-full of lusty democracy lovers reaching their peak emancipation by casting their ballot into a box. Over two million …
NDP: Voters shouldn’t strategically vote unless they’re strategically voting NDP instead of Green
OTTAWA – The NDP says the Liberal Party’s effort to encourage left-leaning voters to strategically vote against the Conservatives is wrong, unless they’re wasting their ballot on the Green …
Man waking from four-year coma excited to vote in proportional representation election
CALGARY – Joe Francis, who has spent the last four years of his life in a state of unconsciousness following a traumatic brain injury, woke up this week and is very enthusiastic about getti…
5 great excuses for not voting in the Federal election, you piece of shit
OTTAWA – The Federal election is upon us, and projections show that the Millennial demographic wields considerable power to decide the future Prime Minister. You’re going to need a better excuse …
NDP candidate unsure who she’ll vote for
SYDNEY-HANTS, NS – A Nova Scotia NDP candidate is still undecided on which party she will vote for in the federal election. Marlene Campbell, a human rights activist and lawyer, said she ha…
Starbucks scrambles to launch new drink for impeachment season
SEATTLE – Executives at Starbucks Coffee Company are working overtime to create a new drink to herald in impeachment season for U.S. President Donald Trump. Following the news that Trump ac…
Scheer: We must stop erasing Canadian history by learning about all of it
OTTAWA – During a campaign announcement that promised free attendance at Canadian museums, Conservative leader Andrew Scheer lamented the fact that political correctness is destroying Canad…
