TORONTO – In a surprising new development in Ontario’s controversial sex-ed curriculum rollback, the Progressive Conservative government announced a province-wide focus on Peanut Butter on …
Ontario
Ford government increases high school class size to reduce learning
TORONTO – Education minister Lisa Thompson recently announced that class sizes for grade four and above will increase from 22 to 28 students, resulting in a 4% reduction in costs, and 8% re…
Ontario Healthcare system cuts budget by using Flintstones chewable vitamins for everything
TORONTO – Ontario Hospitals and Pharmacies formally announced their plans to cut costs and benefit the taxpayer by switching all medicines and therapies to Flintstones chewable vitamins. “T…
Doug Ford’s customized OPP van runs over first whistleblower
TORONTO – Ontario Premier Doug Ford’s customized OPP van has reportedly struck its first whistleblower near Queen’s Park earlier today. The specialized van complete with $100,000 worth of u…
Ontario Dentists relieved they won’t have to work on poor people teeth for at least another 4 years
TORONTO – With the Ontario PC Party in power, Dentists across Ontario are breathing a sigh of relief that they won’t have to work on an additional 4.5 million poor people’s teeth. “Dental c…
Ontario PCs announce ‘Buck-an-Autism’ project
TORONTO – Struggling to address the public backlash from their revisions to the funding for the Ontario Autism Program, the Progressive Conservative Party has pivoted to introduce a new Buck-an-A…
Tories claim leaked health care privatization docs merely drafts that reflect their ultimate goals and intentions
TORONTO – Responding to multiple document leaks that indicate the government will privatize significant parts of Ontario’s health care services, the Ford government assured Ontarians that t…
Ford government solves Toronto housing crisis for everyone who is an MPP
TORONTO – In a surprise move sure to boost the party’s popularity among Torontonians, the Ontario Conservative government has completely solved Toronto’s housing crisis for ever…
Premier Ford credits self for sunrise
TORONTO – Ontario Premier Doug Ford and his government has claimed credit for this morning’s sunrise, which occurred at approximately 7:51 AM in Toronto earlier today. “Getting rid of the c…
“Grassroots” Ontario Proud group revealed to be 3 corporations in a trenchcoat
TORONTO — Despite claiming to be a user-funded organization in the 2018 election, the political action group Ontario Proud has been revealed to be 3 development firms standing on each other…
