London, ON – Local woman Mona Tucker is still reeling from the discovery of a long-lost family photo album from 1973 that revealed that her mother, Amy, was a fun, popular recreational coke…
Local
Local father really psyched about this year’s perennials
RICHMOND HILL, ON – Proud father of two and recreational horticulturist Jack Tierney says he is “beyond excited” for his perennials, set to bloom in late May. “The real showstopper is seein…
Sign of progress? Millennials, Boomers agree that Gen X is the worst
TORONTO – Finally some common ground! After years of arguing about who really screwed things up, baby boomers and millennials were able to come together in order to proclaim that Gen Xers c…
Woman discovers lost Incan city of Paititi while cleaning out her purse
SCARBOROUGH, ON – A woman has found what many experts believe to be the lost Incan city of Paititi when she finally got around to cleaning out her purse. “I knew I needed to clean out my pu…
Man discovers he can’t bend over without making “Wumompph” sound
HAMILTON, ON – 31 year old Kevin Wilson has made an astonishing discovery. Early Saturday morning, while attempting to tie his shoes Wilson realized he was unable to bend over without makin…
Return of cod to Maritimes makes local man regret spending last 25 years stockpiling cod
HALIFAX – While most view the return of cod to the North Atlantic as a good thing, local man Dale Thompson now feels like his plan to hoard thousands of kilos of raw cod was a foolish one. …
Local couple calls off wedding after failing to come up with good hashtag
HAMILTON — Nicole Lucas and Adrian Todd have tearfully cancelled their intended nuptials after being unable to think of a good wedding hashtag. “I tried so hard to make it work,” sobbed Lucas, “W…
Bird stuck in airport unaware of ironic art it’s inspiring
TORONTO – A white-throated sparrow that had the misfortune of flying into the Toronto Pearson Airport has become the muse of many terrible artists within the terminal. “It’s like a metaphor…
Police confirm driving while shame eating on the rise
TORONTO – After a citywide blitz by the Toronto Police, over one hundred people have received tickets for operating a vehicle while eating their emotions away. “Sadly it has become all too common…
Dating trends: Single Newfoundlanders bring family tree to blind dates to avoid dating cousins
CORNER BROOK, NL – In a trend that’s sweeping across Newfoundland and Labrador, more singles are bringing extensive layouts of their family trees to their first dates to avoid dating their …
