WORK’S BATHROOM STALL – Your usually tranquil visit to the washroom took a turn for the worst after someone burst into the stall next to you and began sobbing uncontrollably. The routine ba…
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Heartbroken woman betrayed by imaginary boyfriend after discovering he’s already married
HALIFAX – Romantic tragedy struck yesterday when 30-year-old Tina McCullough discovered that Brian Huntington, her imaginary boyfriend of two years, was already secretly married to another woman.…
Local woman decimates office foe with ‘As per my last email’ knockout
CALGARY – In a tactical move that experts are applauding for its cold-hearted precision, Meeghan Summers obliterated her long-time office rival Irina Kowalski with an “As per my last email”…
REPORT: Glen honestly believes large pizza will last him two meals
EDMONTON — According to a new report, Glen sincerely believes the large pizza he ordered will be enough for both tonight’s dinner and tomorrow’s lunch. Friends and family are skeptical. “It…
BREAKING: Guy you didn’t realize you invited to your birthday party is here thirty minutes early
MONTREAL, QC — As of 8:38 pm, it is being reported that Dan Schlensky has arrived at Cynthia Dante’s birthday party thirty minutes earlier than the Facebook invite initially had stated. Mak…
‘Did you know I’m not drinking alcohol this month?’ says woman to her empty bed
TORONTO – After a long and thoughtful self-care journey, Valerie Duncan has decided to give up drinking this month. A decision she has specifically chosen to disclose to her cold, empty bed…
Local man shaves beard after forgetting how dumb face looks
Sudbury, ON – Minnow Lake resident Callum Wraas has cut his beard after nine months, only to remember its original purpose of shielding his dumb face from the view of others. “It’s not that…
75% of dogs’ nighttime anxiety caused by humans having sex in front of them
VANCOUVER – A new study from the University of British Columbia has officially proven that – similar to humans – dogs feel acute anxiety at nighttime, and that this anxiety is d…
Baby would like you to try his mashed sweet potato too
Kingston, ON — Upon completing his dinner, Joe Johnston, age 8 months and two weeks, would very very much like to share his mashed sweet potato with you. “At first I was like, no I’m fine”,…
Industrious woman spends entire night calculating the hours she has left to sleep
TORONTO – Fresh off a week of sleepless nights, local insomniac Amy Woodford decided to try a brilliant new tactic of meticulously mentally documenting how many hours of rest she could hypo…
