NORTH VANCOUVER, BC – Following the success of progressive initiatives like paper straws and the Beyond Meat burger, A&W Canada, who has already committed to using chickens raised witho…
Business
Public beheading of Ticketmaster execs already sold out
LAS VEGAS – After a damning investigative report by CBC News/Toronto Star revealed collusion between Ticketmaster and scalpers, the company’s shareholders took the rare step of ordering the…
Sir Topham Hatt resigns amid allegations of being “weird with the trains”
ISLAND OF SODOR – Sir Topham Hatt, the longtime controller of the North West Railway on the Island of Sodor, resigned at a press conference yesterday after several reports surfaced of bizar…
Rise in conspiracy theories revealed to be driven by corkboard, string manufacturers
WASHINGTON D.C. — A federal task force has determined that the recent rise in online conspiracy theories has in fact been a well-coordinated plot by several powerful corporations designed t…
Apathetic makers of children’s cereal slap cartoon character on bag of sugar
MISSISSAUGA, ON – Cereal designers at Kellogg’s have shown that they’re calling it in with its most recent children’s breakfast cereal which is simply a bag of white sugar with a colourful …
Local consultant not sure what he does, either
TORONTO – Eight months after starting work at his firm, local consultant Keith Calderon still has difficulty explaining what it is that he actually does for a living. “What does consultant …
Brand’s ‘About Us’ page only raises more questions
VANCOUVER – After a successfully ubiquitous, cross-platform ad campaign that asked consumers if they are good #inspirementalists, the brand Inspirementalism Inc. has enjoyed unprecedented g…
CEO of HuaWei refuses to stop using expression ‘It’s my way or the HuaWei’
SHENZHEN, CHINA – Ren Zhengfei, the founder and CEO of HuaWei, is under severe pressure from HuaWei’s Board of directors to stop using the expression ‘It’s my way or the HuaWei’ or risk bei…
Tim Hortons drops even further in consumer trust rankings after introducing bitcoin donut
HAMILTON – After falling in Canadian consumer trust due to their response to the minimum wage hike, Tim Horton’s dropped another 46 places this week thanks to their latest specialty item, t…
Equality win: A&W introduces Female Cousin Burger into male-dominated Burger family
NORTH VANCOUVER – Scoring an important victory for all women, A&W has announced a new addition to its menu aimed at narrowing the gender gap within their trademark Burger family. The al…
