Owen Sound, ON – Management of a local Coffee Time has asked that all staff pretend that the cobwebs currently coating stationary objects were put there for the Halloween season, as opposed…
Business
Lisa LaFlamme enjoys reporting on life of woman who got to keep job beyond age 58
LONDON – City TV News special correspondent Lisa LaFlamme is said to be enjoying her new role covering the life and career of a woman who was able to stay in her position well past the age …
1,392 Shoppers Drug Mart locations tie for “worst”
BRAMPTON — The results of a customer satisfaction survey have revealed that all 1,392 Shoppers Drug Mart locations have tied for worst. This data vindicates millions of Canadians who have long-to…
Restaurants add option to tip server’s entire salary
TORONTO – In a bold new move, restaurants are adding the option to tip your server’s whole salary. After successful tipping increases to 20% and even 30%, business owners decided to keep it going…
No one is ever productive working from home declare CEOs working from Barbados
Sandy Lane, Barbados – A group of Fortune 500 CEOs met over lunch at their Barbados country club to discuss how no one is ever productive when working from home. After two and a half years …
Sleep Country Canada admits there might be reasons to buy a mattress anywhere else
OAKVILLE, ONT – Christine Magee, co-founder and president of Sleep Country Canada, has admitted she no longer agrees with the implied answer to her company’s jingle. “Since the beginning Sleep C…
Brilliant strategy of hiring dozens of untrained employees somehow fails to boost productivity
STOUFFVILLE, ON ― Local businesses were puzzled this week to find that hiring droves of inexperienced employees with no time allotted to train them had not helped increase their productivity to m…
Canada’s Aunties all pause mid-sentence, sniff the air, whisper “it’s happening”
TORONTO – Canadians from all walks of life reported strange events with older relatives yesterday, as the retail giant Hudson’s Bay announced its plans to relaunch the beloved department store br…
Columnist just going to re-run his “Nobody Wants To Work Anymore!” editorial from last month to save the effort
TORONTO – David Maddux, one of the National Post’s best hate-click generators, has decided to simply re-run his Nobody Wants To Work Anymore column to save himself the time and effort…
Grocery store that fixed price of bread denies fixing price of everything else
BRAMPTON, ON – In response to accusations of hiking food prices higher than the rate of inflation resulting in record profits, grocery giant Loblaws, which previously admitted to fixing the…