EDMONTON – The Alberta government has pulled an all nighter hammering out a new law that forces all females under the age of majority to apply for and receive a government license before ex…
Alberta
“Just make oil prices leap to $120/barrel, and it will end,” says Jason Kenney waterboarding environmentalist
FORT McMURRAY, AB – After pouring a bucket of water over the head of a suspected environmentalist to simulate drowning, Alberta Premier Jason Kenney again demanded his chained captive raise…
12 suspected vegans arrested in latest anti-Alberta energy inquiry raid
EDMONTON – An early morning raid on a vegan restaurant in downtown Edmonton has lead to the arrest of 12 suspected vegans for anti-Alberta energy activities. The seven women and five men ar…
Alberta schools to avoid provincial cuts by pretending to be an oil sands company
EDMONTON – In response to a report that called for dramatic cuts to health care and education to balance the budget, Alberta’s schools have already started rebranding themselves after oil s…
Child expertly carries out covert pee in pool
EDMONTON, AB — Earlier today, during a pool party at his neighbour’s house, Tommy Watkins, 7, successfully executed an unnoticed pee in the pool. “When you love playing in the pool as much …
Majority of Canadians support country’s separation from Jason Kenney
EDMONTON – A new poll suggests that a majority of Canadians support Canada making a clean break from Alberta Premier Jason Kenney. If a referendum were held today, 92% of Canadians would sa…
East Coast man who moved to Alberta three years ago to lead provincial separatist movement
EDMONTON – A Nova Scotia native and Alberta oilsands worker will lead a newly formed secession from Canada movement in the Western province. 36-year-old Gord McGovern of Antigonish will lea…
Alberta threatens that it is open to the idea of possibly considering the notion of maybe exploring the concept of seceding from Canada perhaps
CALGARY – A shocking poll has revealed that over half of Albertans are not only not not opposed to the idea of remaining a part of Canada, they are actively considering considering the oppo…
Stampede officials place tarp over Stampede
CALGARY – Stampede officials have confirmed they will be placing a giant tarp over the entire Calgary Stampede at the next year’s rodeo to protect people from seeing what is being done to l…
Alberta looks for new dying, volatile industry to tie economy to
CALGARY — One of the United Conservative Party’s first acts is to create a brand new task force to find a replacement for the oil sands as the erratic, short term linchpin of Alberta’s econ…
