CHICAGO, IL – Last Friday, after being pushed down an escalator and forced to perform for hours on end, Slinky reached its breaking point. “I’m tired of bending over backwards f…
Modern Mother Teresa? This woman donated to Wikipedia
PICKERING, ON – Budding philanthropist Krista Murphy inspired onlookers last week when she responded to Wikipedia’s call for donation not with apathy, but with a one-time contribution…
Employee appreciation lunch features cheapest food possible
KINGSTON, ON – Last Friday, a local company held their annual Employee Appreciation Lunch and celebrated their hardworking staff by proudly serving the cheapest food possible. The BBQ event took…
Indoor cactus facing worse conditions than actual desert
BURLINGTON, ON – A small indoor cactus found clinging to life was reportedly facing conditions worse than the actual desert, experts say. “Cacti is consistently ranked as one of the easies…
Man living off-grid on deserted island still somehow received HelloFresh invite
UNKNOWN – For the past year, Kevin Orson had been living anonymously on a deserted island, free of modern annoyances like social media, junk mail, and people. But his world was turned upsid…
High cost of eggs force children to decorate Easter tofu blocks
CINCINNATI, OH – When single father Michael Field’s children, Talia and Connor, ran to their kitchen table last Sunday to decorate eggs for Easter, they were confused to find instead a bowl…
Thoughtful gift thwarted by Dollarama price tag
OAKVILLE – Kevin Walker’ seemingly thoughtful gesture for his girlfriend’s birthday on Sunday was obliterated when she noticed her gift was purchased from the discount chain, Do…
Churchapalooza showcases new Christian ACDC cover band ADBC
SALT LAKE CITY – North America’s biggest Christian rock music festival, Churchapalooza, is excited to announce their newest headliner and this year’s most talked about group – t…
Cheetos factory explosion insensitively categorized as dangerously cheesy
CONNECTICUT – A devastating explosion at Frito-Lays’ Cheetos factory last Thursday – which has left 82 wounded and 27 still missing – was insensitively categorized as a level “d…
Report: Due to shrinkflation, Halloween chip bags now just air
TORONTO – When local man Peter Vidal decided to have “just one bag” of the Halloween chips he purchased for trick-or-treaters, he was shocked to discover that it contained only air. &…
