THUNDER BAY – Arthur Brown, 38, has decorated the rear windshield of his 2001 Toyota Matrix with a fictitious family in order to blend into a new neighbourhood, masking the loneliness and s…
Feds cite ‘Lazy River Ride’ as evidence that waterways are lazy, undeserving of protection
VAUGHAN — After a weekend spent at Splash Works with his family, Conservative MP Peter Kent resolved to remove all remaining protections enjoyed by Canada’s rivers, citing the Lazy River R…
US considers decriminalizing blackness in wake of Missouri shootings
WASHINGTON, D.C. – The recent surge in civil unrest following the shooting of an unarmed black teenager by police in Ferguson, Missouri has U.S. lawmakers contemplating the decriminalization of b…
Tories allege Trudeau is ‘radical Islamist’ after Liberal leader buys, eats shawarma
MONTREAL — Minister of Public Safety Steve Blaney has accused Justin Trudeau of being a radical Islamist after the Liberal leader allegedly purchased, and consumed, a Middle Eastern dish kn…
Imperial Metals CEO: ‘I have cousin that’s good at fixing contaminated water’
POLLEY LAKE, BC – The CEO of the mining company that is responsible for contaminating several BC lakes with arsenic, lead, mercury and other heavy metals, is assuring the public that he kno…
Last known viewer of Mike Bullard Show passes away
TORONTO – John Issac, the last remaining Canadian to have watched Open Mike with Mike Bullard, has died at age 78. Issac, who hailed from New Brunswick, was one of 11 people known to have e…
New Montreal Metro stops named ‘De Layed’, ‘De Crepid’ and ‘Du Bious’
MONTREAL – After spending $125,000 to make slight changes to 19 Metro station names, the Societe de Transport de Montreal (STM) unveiled its new stations names for the Blue Line: “De Layed,…
Chinese cyber spies disappointed by Canada’s complete lack of scientific research
BEIJING – Chinese state-sponsored hackers were disappointed after hacking into Canadian government and business research archives and discovering they contained little to no valuable inform…
Jason Kenney accuses SPCA of anti-Semitism after taking soft stance on Israel
OTTAWA – Minister of Employment Jason Kenney has had enough of the Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals long history of remaining silent on Israeli-Palestinian affairs. “Listen, I don…
