WINNIPEG – Following a last-minute campaign ad urging constituents to “vote like no one is watching” and ignore the fear of moral judgement for casting their vote a certain way, Manitoba PCs are …
New CPC logo just a boner in a cowboy hat
OTTAWA – After a rousing speech by Conservative Party leader Pierre Poilievre at the party’s convention last week, the CPC has unveiled a new logo carefully designed to communicate a strong new m…
Allegedly cis female athlete transitions to receive men’s salary
LISBON ― Accusations have been flying in the world of men’s track and field that one of the competitors from Portugal, Tiago Silva, does not really have gender dysphoria, and only transitioned be…
Toronto actresses psyched to play dead bodies on new Law & Order: Toronto series
TORONTO – Actresses across Toronto rejoiced yesterday at the announcement that a spinoff of Dick Wolf’s famous “Law & Order” series would be set in their city, signalling a chance for t…
Researchers uncover evidence that Stanley Cup Playoffs still in progress
OTTAWA – Officials at Carleton University held a press conference today, announcing their discovery that the long-thought-completed NHL playoffs are, in fact, ongoing. Graduate student Jaso…
Leafs fan not going to shut up about this for the next 19 years
TORONTO – Early reports indicate that local Toronto Maple Leafs fan Edward Bookham won’t shut up about his team’s playoff series victory over the Tampa Bay Lightning for the nex…
Nation relieved to see Trump indicted before he could do anything really bad
NEW YORK – People across the United States and entire world are reportedly breathing sighs of relief that the former President is experiencing legal consequences, before he could do any rea…
Carbon prices rise to $65/tonne, millions of households eligible for rebates
OTTAWA – Canada’s national carbon price rose today from $50 per tonne of emissions to $65, the largest single rise in the pricing structure to date. As well, rebates that millions of …
Highlights of the Liberal’s 2023 Budget
Holy motherfucking shit it’s Budget season! The time when the government announces how it will spend all our money and we all pretend to understand the difference between the debt and the d…