Totes adorbs! 8-year-old Adam Ahmed has been fighting the Canadian government to remove his name from the no-fly list for two years, and it’s seriously the cutest! Two years ago, Ahmed was stoppe…
Report: Probably still time to run for leader of the NDP if you get paperwork in
OTTAWA — While voting has begun as of September 18, political strategists report that they’re pretty sure there is still time for you to run for leader of the NDP if you complete and hand in the …
Interracial couple so pleased you interrupted their dinner to call them beautiful
OTTAWA — Following a pleasant date night at their favourite local restaurant, interracial couple Scott Walters and Tara Miller wanted to say how delighted they are that you interrupted their dinn…
150 Canadians to celebrate on Canada’s sesquicentennial, except I could only think of 8
Canada’s 150th anniversary is just around the bend, and to celebrate, we’re shining the spotlight on 150 — count ‘em: 150! — noteworthy Canadians! It’s a huge number, but with a nation as great a…
Local couple calls off wedding after failing to come up with good hashtag
HAMILTON — Nicole Lucas and Adrian Todd have tearfully cancelled their intended nuptials after being unable to think of a good wedding hashtag. “I tried so hard to make it work,” sobbed Lucas, “W…
Man in new relationship becoming that which once he hated
KITCHENER — Local man Richard Stephens, having only recently begun a new relationship after several years of being single, has already found himself mired in the depths of the hackneyed, overly r…
You magically turned into a bug! Can you live a happy and fulfilling life?
What’s a horrifying, insectoidal monstrosity to do? Sources Beetle Clock Woman playing violin Knocking on door Door Scared businessman Garbage can Beetle book Woman reading book Swarm of…
Local man’s only role model dog from viral video
WHITEHORSE — Even including family, teachers, coaches, and celebrities, local man Eric Lee would be hard pressed to name a role model that isn’t that Siberian Husky from a video he saw on Faceboo…
Man who isn’t listening confused by what you just said
ST. JOHN’S — Recent reports from your workplace suggest that George Everrett, the man with whom you’ve been talking for three minutes, has not listened to a word you just said and is decidi…
QUIZ: How will you spend Valentine’s Day now that Karen faked her death to get away from you?
Valentine’s Day is almost here, and we’re all ready to spend the day with that special someone! Unless that special someone is Karen, who told you she had typhus and then stopped texting you back…
