OTTAWA — With Canada now signed on to the Trans Pacific Partnership, Canadians are excited to find out just how much they have been screwed. “I can’t wait to see who got it the most!” said …
Stephen Harper slips into fluent Mandarin during French debate
MONTREAL – During a question on the economy during last night’s french language debate Stephen Harper began speaking in sudden, perfect Mandarin for a few short sentences. “The Prime Minist…
Heckler at stand-up comedy show punished by having to watch improv comedy show
WINNIPEG – After repeated rude and crass outbursts at the stand up comedians performing on stage local man Ronny Waldston was removed from the Chuckle Hut mainstage and forcibly sat at the …
Bloc Québécois demands sovereignty for the 10% of Quebec that still supports them
QUEBEC CITY – On a campaign stop to the provincial capital, Bloc Québécois leader Gilles Duceppe demanded a near complete fracture in relationship between Canada and the small portion of Qu…
Harper tells unemployed that they only ‘technically’ lost their jobs
EDMONTON — Speaking to dozens of unemployed oilsands workers, Prime Minister Stephen Harper explained that the workers maybe ‘technically’ unemployed, but in reality they are &#…
Study on which brownies had weed in them inconclusive
MONCTON, NB – A report conducted earlier today on which of the brownies had weed in them has come back inconclusive after head researcher Dr. Ken Irons lost track of who ate which brownie. …
Liberal Party offers all platinum donors ‘night of passion’ with Justin Trudeau
Ottawa – In a fundraising email sent over the weekend, Liberal Party revenue officer Stephen Bronfman promised every donor who contributed over $1000.00 a lengthy and sensual one on one mee…
Harper recommends Netflix doc on missing/murdered Aboriginal women
OTTAWA – Less than a week after pledging to defend Netflix from any form of taxation, Prime Minister Stephen Harper has continued to rave about the many tv shows and movies available on the…
87% of Nation’s receptionists agree: Mr. Johannsen not available at the moment
WINNIPEG – A recent country-wide survey of the nation’s receptionists has revealed that 87% of them agree that Mr. Johannson, Vice President of Marketing and Analytics, is not available at …
Journalist wastes bi-monthly question with Stephen Harper by asking if he could ask a question
LAVAL – National newspaper reporter Eric Hitchens wasted his first chance to ask Stephen Harper a question in over two months by first posing whether it would be acceptable to ask a questio…
