NEW YORK – In what is already being hailed as a novel and innovative attempt to reach out to America’s crucial Evangelical consumer base, PepsiCo subsidiary Mountain Dew has announced a new promo…
Johnson & Johnson sued for $72m after baby powder revealed to contain actual powdered babies
JEFFERSON CITY, MISSOURI – A jury in the state of Missouri has ordered cosmetic company Johnson & Johnson to pay $72 million in damages after its trademark Baby Powder was found to contain “l…
Local paramedic tops UberX driver rankings
TORONTO – After topping user approval rankings last week, paramedic and ambulance driver John Smallberries has been named Canada’s number one UberX driver. Users of Smallberries’ service cite his…
Vancouver makes New Year’s Resolution to stop tempting gods with mortal hubris
VANCOUVER – In the wake of a magnitude 4.9 earthquake that struck the BC coast late Tuesday night, Vancouver City Council has unanimously passed a New Year’s Resolution to avoid invoking the wrat…
Leaked documents show Stephen Harper refused to answer four questions during local Seder
TORONTO – Leaked records released today show that Stephen Harper refused to answer four questions posed to him by children at a local Passover Seder on April 4th, 2015. “I was very disappointed i…
Astronomical Union threatens planetary status of Neptune if funding demands not met
PARIS – In a surprise press conference this morning, International Astronomical Union President Norio Kaifu announced that, unless funding goals were met within the next 24 hours, the body would …
BC wildfires destroy world’s oldest grow-op
PORT ALBERNI – In a development that has many British Columbia residents shocked, a 82-year-old marijuana grow-operation, known affectionately to residents as ‘Old Wheezy’, was destroyed after fi…