TORONTO – After unpacking their bags in the guest room they’ll be using for their five day stay in Toronto, Hans and Heidi Bergmann have casually mentioned that they’re interested in popping over…
“Don’t Walk” sign sometimes counts down to green light just to fuck with people
TORONTO – An errant pedestrian crossing light has recently been revealed to deploy a countdown from 15 to 0 only to end up in a green light in a bid to screw with the minds of local citizens. “I’…
New royal baby already accomplished everything in life he is expected to
LONDON – Swiftly following the birth of Prince Harry and Meghan Markle’s first child, Buckingham Palace spokespeople confirmed that he has already achieved all goals, objectives, and purposes exp…
The cast of The Wizard of Oz: Where are they now?
Everyone knows the beloved Hollywood classic The Wizard Of Oz. It has touched both young and old for generations, and ushered in a new age of fantastical cinema. But you wanna feel old? Following…
Corporate donations motivate name change to “The Notre D’Amazon Cathedral”
PARIS – Following the tragic fire which destroyed large portions of Paris’ famed Notre Dame Cathedral, a flood of corporate charity to fund the repairs has led to a rebranding of the landma…
TV viewers wary of upcoming Game of Thrones/This is Us crossover episode
LOS ANGELES – While fans of HBO’s Game of Thrones are eagerly awaiting the upcoming premiere of the show’s eighth and final season, many are expressing concern with the decision to broadcast a la…
Don’t all these nerdwads realize firing teachers is totally boss?
By: Doug Ford I just don’t get it! Thousands of students protesting at Queen’s Park and for what? Because I did them a favour and fired a bunch a’ dumb teachers who force them to go to school! Th…
Scotiabank Arena says ‘fuck it, 18 bucks for a bottle of water’
TORONTO – Scotiabank Arena, the home of the Toronto Raptors and Toronto Maple Leafs recently announced a change in policy in which they pledge to stop fucking around and unabashedly charge an obs…
Modern Day Miracle! This man awoke from a 12 year coma and doctors immediately told him Philip Seymour Hoffman is dead
HAMILTON – It sounds like something from a made for TV movie but this story is completely true! Martin Paulson, a 48 year old who has been in a coma for the past 12 years suddenly awoke in hospit…
We asked 7 kids to describe their imaginary friend and they all precisely described Gary Busey
Remember when you were a kid and had an imaginary friend that went everywhere you did and only you could see? Maybe he was a 20 foot tall dinosaur, or a wacky clown, or even another kid just like…
