KITCHENER, ON – In a developing story, local mom and master orator Ruth Baxter, 57, has miraculously transformed her anecdote of running into Barb, a woman her family has only a passing fam…
True Patriot! Man types Pornhub.ca into browser
WINNIPEG, MB – In a stunning display of patriotism, Winnipeg resident and proud Canadian Kyle Henderson has shuttered the blinds, locked the door, and typed ‘pornhub.ca’ into his incognito …
But if we abolish police who will cut the line at Tim Hortons?
By: Denis Williams As many across this great nation have called for abolishing police forces, I find myself wondering what a world would look like without cops. Perhaps most disturbingly, I wonde…
Toddler finally has time to catch up with latest season of Doc McStuffins
WINDSOR, ON – As the Covid-19 pandemic continues to keep most Canadians indoors, many are using their down time to catch up on things they wouldn’t have time for otherwise. Among them is 2-…
Finally a mask for men! This one has a lil dump truck on it
LINDSAY, ON – As many men across the globe have been forced to reckon with the overwhelmingly feminine nature of medical masks, one company, Macho Masks, has capitalized on this concern by …
RE/MAX blows entire operating budget on hot air balloons for 42nd year in a row
DENVER, CO – A group of clearly distraught RE/MAX officials addressed a room full of reporters today to announce that, for the 42nd year in a row, the real estate company has blown their en…
Feminism Win! This female cop also sucks ass
In what many are heralding as a diversity win, police officer Danica Greer is defying traditional gender roles by proving that female cops can be just as big pieces of shit as their male cohorts.…
Little Free Library implements more comprehensive Covid-19 strategy than White House
Eugene, OR- Following mounting concern for public safety during the current pandemic, a local Little Free Library is paving the way for appropriate crisis management after issuing a more comprehe…
Opinion: Why I’m boycotting Amazon unless I get bored or want something
In recent months, Amazon’s numerous infractions have become almost too big to ignore. As labour violations mount, I no longer feel comfortable giving them my business which is why I’ve bravely de…
Exhausted nurse can’t wait to come home to neighbourhood kids banging on pots and pans for five minutes straight
WINDSOR – Exhausted nurse Lucia Ramierez addressed reporters this morning to announce she simply cannot wait to come home from her sixteen hour shift, rife with tragedy, to all the neighbou…