OAKVILLE, ON – After a monument commemorating soldiers who fought in Hitler’s SS was vandalized with spray paint recently, Halton Regional Police have declared that “this hate crime hits es…
OPINION: Why don’t protesters do something useful like when I bang pots and pans for nurses?
For well over a month there has been a surge in protests in response to police brutality and anti-Black racism, and believe me, there is NOBODY who hates racism more than me. That’s why it’s so f…
Ethics watchdog to investigate Trudeau government giving $900 million to WWE
OTTAWA – Ethics Commissioner Mario Dion has begun investigating Prime Minister Justin Trudeau over the Liberals’ choice to provide $900 million to WWE to administer the government’s summer …
Band-Aid company offers band-aid solution
SKILLMAN, NJ – Band-Aid brand adhesive bandages announced recently that their new range of bandages in various shades of Brown and Black skin tones are expected to offer not much help while…
Toronto Police Service seeks bold new leader committed to the status quo
TORONTO – Following Toronto Police Chief Mark Saunders’ announcement that he has chosen to step down, the city’s Police Services Board has announced that they are seeking a bold new l…
OPINION: It is nobody’s business what Lindsey Graham does in the privacy of his own voting record
As salacious rumours have begun swirling online about a certain republican senator with the initials “LG”, I want to remind everybody that it is absolutely nobody’s business wha…
ANTIFA surprised to discover it is an organization
VARIOUS LOCATIONS AROUND THE WORLD – Following President Donald Trump’s announcement that the United States is designating ANTIFA as a terrorist organization, the loosely connected individu…
OPINION: It’s time to reopen the Ark of the Covenant
As we all know, we are in the middle of a singularly unique crisis right now. The world is hurting and needs help. That is why it’s the time for us to quit acting like wimps and fully reopen the …
Nation’s high school dance chaperones bravely volunteer to enforce social distancing
OTTAWA – Responding to an urgent need, high school dance chaperones from across the country have bravely volunteered to ensure that Canadians everywhere remain at least two metres apart fro…
Man accused of sexual assault to win 2020 presidency
WASHINGTON DC – Following today’s announcement from Bernie Sanders’ campaign that the Vermont senator will no longer be seeking the Democratic nomination, the path has been cleared fo…