EDMONTON – After the federal election results left many in western Canada feeling disappointed and alienated, a separatist movement has emerged online under the banner of “Wexit”, inspired …
Health Canada warns that vaping fuckin’ sick
OTTAWA – Following several reports of vaping-related illnesses and deaths across North America, Health Canada has issued a strongly worded warning aimed at young people, informing them that…
Couple give dignified human name to puppy, name baby something fucking weird
ABBOTSFORD, BC – Proud local couple Vincent and Christina Hull recently revealed on social media the name of their new puppy, Jessica, as well as the name of their newborn daughter, Champyo…
Free speech advocates upset Shane Gillis denied constitutional right to late night TV gig
NEW YORK CITY — Following an announcement that Saturday Night Live is officially cutting ties with Shane Gillis, self-proclaimed online defenders of the First Amendment insist that this is …
Baby celebrating first birthday just happy so many shapes could make it
MAGOG, QC – One-year-old Grayson Bellesmare announced today via a series of shrieks and babbles his delight that so many different shapes of various colours were able to make it out to his …
Cartoonist fired after viral cartoon threatens to keep print media relevant
SAINT JOHN, NB – Editorial cartoonist Michael de Adder was let go from Brunswick News Inc. just days after his viral cartoon of President Trump golfing near the bodies of dead migrants thre…
BREAKING: Somebody liked a pic you posted two years ago
THE INTERNET – Social media notifications have confirmed that a photo of yourself that you posted more than two years ago on a day when you felt cute has received a new like, prompting a de…
Millennial lottery winner excited to finally quit one of his five jobs
VANCOUVER – Thirty-one year old lottery winner Michael R. Fernandez announced today that his recent winnings will allow him to finally hand-in his notice of resignation at one of the five j…
Nation’s dads demand investigation into where the hell this moron learned how to drive
OTTAWA – The nation’s dads assembled on Parliament Hill today demanding that Transport Canada investigate where in the hell this moron learned how to drive and who exactly was the idi…
Canadian officials wish garbage sent to Philippines had been labeled “drug lords” so it could have been disposed of, no questions asked
OTTAWA – Following Filipino President Rodrigo Duterte’s statement that he would “declare war” with Canada over a series of shipping containers of garbage sent to the Philippines years…