OTTAWA – With vast numbers of Canadians suddenly out of a job and no sign of relief from most landlords, the nation’s tenants have collectively vowed that if they must still pay rent, that …
Maintain a sense of normalcy under quarantine by continuing to trim your pubes
Like many people, you may find yourself adjusting to a brand new stay-at-home lifestyle these days in order to protect yourself and others from the spread of COVID-19. During these disruptive tim…
Health Canada allows furry convention to proceed as planned
OTTAWA – In spite of recommendations restricting large gatherings of people to slow the spread of COVID-19, Health Canada has given the go-ahead to the upcoming furry convention Furtive Gla…
Roger Stone sentenced to wait several days for presidential pardon
WASHINGTON, DC – After being found guilty of seven counts of lying to Congress, obstruction and witness tampering, Trump adviser Roger Stone has been sentenced to prison for up to several d…
Sanders campaign relieved to have dodged Clinton endorsement
WASHINGTON, DC – Following revelations in a new documentary that Hillary Clinton does not support Bernie Sanders, the Sanders campaign office has responded with great relief that they have …
Internet argument less fun at dinner table
NAPIERVILLE, QC – Following a heated discussion during a family dinner about the same topics those present typically argued about online, all members of the Chernak family agreed that it la…
Police arrest dealer responsible for selling speed to world population of squirrels
VANCOUVER – After a years-long joint investigation by multiple international agencies, authorities have finally arrested the drug kingpin responsible for supplying all squirrels with massiv…
Dental hygienist slides into patient’s DMs to ask if he’s flossing
CORNER BROOK, NL – Local resident Irving O’Grady received a direct message from his dental hygienist on Instagram late yesterday evening asking to verify if he was maintaining a twice…
Wexit movement inspired by how smoothly Brexit is going
EDMONTON – After the federal election results left many in western Canada feeling disappointed and alienated, a separatist movement has emerged online under the banner of “Wexit”, inspired …
Health Canada warns that vaping fuckin’ sick
OTTAWA – Following several reports of vaping-related illnesses and deaths across North America, Health Canada has issued a strongly worded warning aimed at young people, informing them that…