EDMONTON – An early morning raid on a vegan restaurant in downtown Edmonton has lead to the arrest of 12 suspected vegans for anti-Alberta energy activities. The seven women and five men ar…
Snapping turtle keeps Greenbelt home after donating $100,000 to Ontario PCs
UXBRIDGE, ON – A wealthy snapping turtle from the Oak Ridges Moraine Conservation Area has successfully lobbied to keep her home after making a generous donation on the Ontario Progressive …
RCMP thank Maxime Bernier for making it easier to track white supremacists
OTTAWA – The Integrated National Security Enforcement Team of the RCMP have issued a personal thank you to People’s Party of Canada Leader Maxime Bernier for making their jobs much easier o…
Alberta schools to avoid provincial cuts by pretending to be an oil sands company
EDMONTON – In response to a report that called for dramatic cuts to health care and education to balance the budget, Alberta’s schools have already started rebranding themselves after oil s…
Search and rescue crews continue to look for any signal of federal NDP campaign
OTTAWA – With dwindling hope, search and rescue crews continue to scour the country looking for any signs of an election campaign for a major party. Rescuers believe that the NDP is running…
Trudeau forces 10 bus passengers to miss their stop
MONTREAL – Prime Minister Justin Trudeau created a ruckus on a STM bus while filming a political advertisement for the Liberal Party of Canada causing at least 10 passengers to miss their s…
Rex Murphy points to pathetic size of Canada’s forest fires compared to Brazil’s Amazon
TORONTO – In his most recent column, National Post writer Rex Murphy lamented Canada’s laughable forest fires compared to more industrious infernos in countries like Brazil. “Many Canadians…
Gaming the system: Recent 92-year-old university grad gets to die before she pays off her debt
VANCOUVER – A clever UBC grad has found an ingenious way to avoid paying her costly student debts by dying soon after graduation. “With age comes wisdom,” said 92-year-old Barbara Harrison …
Canadians barricading homes in anticipation for 8 more weeks of election bullshit
OTTAWA – Canadians across the country have spent their weekends filling sandbags, barricading their doors, and stocking supplies in preparation for the 2019 election bullshit. “The writ has…
