TORONTO – In a survey of the nation’s major banks, a new report published today states that ordering cheques from your bank can cost anywhere from “Wait, how fucking much?” to “Jesus, you g…
Documents reveal anti-vaccination Facebook groups funded by ‘Big Child Coffin’
WASHINGTON DC – Exposing greedy corporate propaganda, an industry watchdog group has obtained leaked internal documents that demonstrate a direct connection between popular anti-vaccination…
Highly caffeinated Robert Mueller pulling all-nighter after not starting report until this afternoon
WASHINGTON DC – Despite having almost two-years to get it done, a highly caffeinated Special Counsel Robert Mueller was seen furiously typing away at his computer, after only just getting s…
Nation in shock as documentary confirms everything they already knew about Michael Jackson
LOS ANGELES – The entire nation is in total shock today in the wake of horrifying revelations contained in the HBO documentary Leaving Neverland, allegations which everyone already knew to …
Referee reverses call after man yells at TV loud enough
ORILLIA, ON – Upon hearing that he’d made a “bullshit call” from a distant voice that powered its way through the television screen, an NHL referee reversed his penalty decision this evenin…
Bruce McArthur pleads guilty, Toronto police still skeptical
TORONTO – Urging the public to not jump to any conclusions, Toronto Police Services have issued a statement to remind the public that just because Bruce McArthur has pleaded guilty to eight…
Kinky anarchist enjoys autocratic asphyxiation
LETHBRIDGE, AB – Admitting he’s addicted to the rush he gets from choking members of the fascist capitalist elite, a self-described anarchist says his greatest sexual kink is autocratic asp…
Elf on the Shelf keeps getting into the knives
News In Photos: Elf on the Shelf keeps getting into the knives Image via Deposit Photos…
Report: Door not as heavy as expected
CHARLOTTETOWN, PEI – Despite being large and made of heavy-looking glass, a report released Monday has concluded that the door to Belle’s Yoga Studio on Belvedere Ave. is way lighter than y…
