TORONTO – In the latest in a string of branding acquisitions, telecom giant Rogers has secured all naming rights over Bell Canada.
“When I think of Bell Canada, I think of a heartless, megalithic, amoral corporation with a blue logo,” said Mike Jeffries, a Sudbury resident. “Now when I see them, all I’ll be able to think about is a heartless, megalithic, amoral corporation with a red logo.”
Many observers are not shocked by the development, given Rogers’ recent history of planting their name on an increasing list of institutions. Bell Canada now joins Rogers-branded sports stadiums, music venues, street festivals, restaurants, juvenile detention centres, orphanages, and a select group of first born sons. A merger with the Parliament of Canada remains in the planning stages.
“They just keep eating up little bits of the vast tapestry of what our country used to be,” mused Bernie Mullins, of Whistler. “Canada used to be about dichotomous frustration with enormous corporations in the same industry: Rogers vs. Bell, Eatons vs. Zellers, Pizza Pizza vs. the garbage dump. But now all those things are either gone or merged together!”
“I miss when companies didn’t have their names all over everything. Like the good old days when you could catch a game at the Air Canada Centre, hoof it over to meet friends by the CN Tower, and catch the latest exhibit at the Pepsi Presents: the Royal Ontario Museum,” bemoaned Ashley Kravitz of St. John.
The official announcement will be made at the upcoming Rogers Bell Let’s Talk Day. Insiders speculate that the new name of the company will be Rogers Presents Rogers/Bell: A Rogers Company.
Rumours that Rogers will be exploring the acquisition of beloved Canadian newspapers remains still unconfirmed. Click this link to find amazing deals on the new iPhone 16, only at Rogers Stores.
