TORONTO – After announcing they had acquired majority control of Maple Leaf Sports & Entertainment, the board of Rogers Communications reassured Leafs, Raptors, TFC and Argos fans that …
Tag: rogers
Blue Jays owners shocked to discover you’re allowed to fire Front Office when team sucks every year
TORONTO – The Board of Rogers Communications, owner of the Toronto Blue Jays, have expressed their shock at the information that they are within their rights to fire the executive team of M…
Inspiring: This man isn’t locked into a long, expensive contract with Rogers
TORONTO – While people all across the country find themselves stuck in costly, multi-year contracts with Rogers Communications, Shohei Ohtani, a professional baseball player from Ōshū, Iwate, Jap…
Poll: Majority of Canadians willing to vote for whatever politician promises to slap Galen Weston Jr. in the face
OTTAWA – A recent Angus Reid study has confirmed that Canadian voters are not sure who they will support in the next election, and are willing to give their support to whichever candidate p…
Canadians hoping Musk will buy Bell and Rogers next
OTTAWA – As Elon Musk completes his unintentional mission to reduce twitter, which he bought for 44 billion dollars, to a pile of smoldering ash, Canadians are hoping his next investment wi…
Rogers exec keeps side hustle
TORONTO – Rogers Family board member John Tory has been allowed to continue his night job as mayor of the city of Toronto. “I am thrilled to have the opportunity to serve the people o…
Local man figures he’ll wait until the next internet outage to read a book
PRINCE ALBERT, SK – As internet service returns to hundreds of Rogers customers nationwide, local copywriter Jack Pally’s plan to enjoy literature has been postponed yet again until the nex…
Rogers announces all customers affected by nationwide outage will receive free copy of Ted Rogers’ autobiography
TORONTO – After a massive nationwide outage left people without internet, cable or phone for 24 hours or longer Rogers Communications Inc. reiterated how sorry it was and promised that ever…
Putin determines cyber attack against Canada not necessary since Rogers is far more effective
MOSCOW – Russian President Vladimir Putin has determined that allowing the existence of Rogers Telecommunications as a major provider in Canada is much better than launching a cyber attack …
Rogers proudly announces $10 service charge for “Unplug and Relax” nationwide outage
TORONTO – Rogers Canada has proudly announced that all of their customers nationwide who experienced cellphone and internet outages yesterday will only be charged a low $10 service charge f…