OTTAWA – Prime Minister Mark Carney has announced that “Buy Canadian” policies now means Canadians can now support the country’s economy by purchasing local public assets like ports, airports, and crown lands.
“When we tell people to ‘Buy Canadian,’ we mean all of it,” Carney told reporters while nailing down a ‘FOR SALE’ sign on a local park. “Whether it’s blueberries from Saguenay, Pacific salmon, or Canada’s airports, this is how we support our economy.”
“Imagine: You’re a business with a product, made by Canadians with domestic materials. You export your products using the transport company you own to load on to the ships you make to export overseas,” Carney said. “Wouldn’t it also make sense to unlock the revenue potential of owning that port?”
Carney added that turning airports over to the private sector could also boost private investment. The prime minister suggested selling off naming rights to boost the profile of major Canadian brands.
“Imagine a major international investor flying into Toronto-Boston Pizza International Airport,” the prime minister told reporters. “That investor will know that we are a serious country.”
Maurice Scribner, a longtime Liberal supporter, says he supports the prime minister’s proposal. “Imagine the economic benefits of offloading our public assets to the private sector. There will be so many jobs spun off that the money is bound to trickle down to… Oh, no.”
Tracey Young, another Carney voter, says she’s not comfortable with the government’s proposals. “This is exactly something the Conservatives would do. If only there was any other option besides Canada’s two basically-conservative parties,” Young noted, pointedly ignoring NDP Leader Avi Lewis waving his arms and trying to get her attention.
At press time, the entire province of Saskatchewan has been listed on Kijiji.
