OTTAWA – Amidst charges that the Federal Liberal Party has awarded excessive contracts to consulting firms, namely McKinsey & Company, Prime Minister Trudeau has vowed to study the situation with the help of a newly-engaged consulting firm.
“I remain confident that the excellent consultants at Thompkins Freeman & Company will work tirelessly, no matter the amount of billable hours, to help us get to the bottom of this conundrum,” explained Trudeau.
“I’m especially confident in this firm since their CEO formerly served as my Ambassador to Albania, so I’m sure he’ll have many insights into ways that government can be run inefficiently,” added Trudeau. “Also their Principal Manager’s son and my own children attend the same private school, but that’s just a fun coincidence.”
“Oh, and also every member of the corporate board at Thompkins Freeman & Company previously served in the Fundraising Department of the Liberal Party of Canada, so we’ll have lots to chat about,” noted Trudeau before waving to the crowd and answering no follow up questions.
Trudeau has also retained the services of Berkmann Consulting LLP to investigate the phenomenon of government inability to perform simple functions due to every capable bureaucrat quitting to make five times more money working in consulting.
While sole sourcing for these multiple consulting contracts has come under scrutiny, a spokesperson for the PMO assured Canadians, “We were worried about that too, until one of the consulting firms suggested in lieu of a bidding process we just give each of them a contract. That way there’s no favouritism.”
Asked what services Thompkins Freeman consulting firm will actually provide for Canadians, Communications Director Valerie Maersh is optimistic.
“For us, it’s not about the tens of millions of dollars in contracts with almost no oversight or accountability,” insists Maersh. “It’s about recommending improvement to government procedures that will either work a little bit, or work so poorly that we are hired again to consult on what went wrong.”
Maersh does concede that, due to reputational blowback for being seen as accepting inappropriate government contracts, Thompkins Freeman has hired the consulting firm of Henderson Henderson and Gonch to advise them.