OTTAWA – The Canadian Revenue Agency is reportedly in a state of total meltdown after receiving a complete tax report in the first few weeks of the new year. “I have no idea how the fuck th…
Tag: Ottawa
Court rules convoy must return to Ottawa after finding Emergencies Act unreasonable
OTTAWA – Following the ruling that the Liberal government’s 2022 use of the Emergencies Act was unreasonable, a Federal judge has ordered that all convoy protestors be welcomed back t…
Minister of Housing concerned there might not be a way to fix the housing crisis without upsetting some people
OTTAWA – Housing Minister Sean Fraser has expressed concern that his government may not be able to fix the nation’s housing crisis in a way that will make literally everyone happy. “It’s re…
Toronto Liberal MPs accuse Olivia Chow of trying to help Toronto
TORONTO – Several Toronto-area Liberal MPs have furiously accused the city’s newly-elected mayor of a devious and irresponsible plot to “actually advocate for Toronto”. …
Protesters trying to block road frustrated to find every Ottawa road already closed for construction
OTTAWA, ON ― A group of protesters trying to generate enough chaos to gather national publicity was forced to concede defeat today, after their efforts to impede traffic illegally were foiled by …
Parliament’s Elf On The Shelf turns out to be Pierre Poilievre in a little scarf
OTTAWA – Shockwaves spread throughout the House this week when staffers realized that the vaguely threatening elf watching their every move was actually the leader of the Opposition in a fe…
Local children not at all scared by haunted House of Commons
OTTAWA – The federal government’s attempt to entertain young Halloween visitors fell flat on its face this year, as almost no child has reported being scared by the main attraction: a…
Greg Fergus immediately cancels all upcoming events honouring former Nazis
OTTAWA – Newly-elected Speaker of the House Greg Fergus has moved quickly to correct the errors made by his predecessor by taking the brave step of immediately canceling all planned events in whi…
Anti-LGTBQ “Million March For Children” outnumbered by “Billion March For Not Being Bigots”
OTTAWA – As coordinated protests against LGTBQ2S+ rights in schools take place across Canada, dubbed the “Million March For Children”, these marches are being dwarfed by a large…
Scientists determined to find what’s killing all the bees so it can be used to kill all the wasps
OTTAWA – Conservation experts and entomologists across the globe have announced they will be putting more effort into determining the cause of bee population declines around the world, so i…