Bill 1: Alberta Sovereignty Within A (temporarily) United Canada
WHEREAS the federal government is a fuckin’ clown show bud;
WHEREAS PM Justin Trudeau keeps making laws despite repeated requests that he stop;
WHEREAS is is the role of the legislature of Alberta to preserve and promote the values of the dozens of thousands of people who voted in the United Conservative Party Leadership Race;
WHEREAS the courts have failed to declare the Trudeau government’s laws unconstitutional even though a lawyer we found on Craigslist says they are;
WHEREAS the Province of Alberta is granted rights and powers under The Constitution that no one knew about until we found a secret extra page that they forgot to staple to the rest of the document; and
WHEREAS the people of Alberta expect the government of Canada to respect their Rights & Freedoms and the government of Alberta to be run by a Cabinet that can do whatever the fuck it wants;
THEREFORE HIS MAJESTY, by and with the advice and consent of the Legislative Assembly of Alberta (still needed for now), enacts as follows:
1. The Legislature of Alberta shall review all federal laws to determine if they infringe on Alberta’s sovereign right to do what it wants, when it wants, how it wants. Any law that infringes on our right to party and/or make as much oil as humanly possible shall be declared unconstitutional.
2. The Government of Alberta may refuse to enforce any unconstitutional law passed by the Federal Government and blow as many as 9 raspberries at the federal government’s offices while doing so.
3. The Government may also amend any legislation declared unconstitutional, for example by writing ‘No’ in front of the words ‘Carbon Tax.’
4. Provincial agencies shall not enforce any act deemed unconstitutional, and shall in fact work to prevent its enforcement. Something we are confident will not cause chaos or confusion.
5. This law is only in place when a UCP government is in charge. The UCP shall have the right to declare takesies backsies in the event the NDP win an election.
6. Oh also democracy is over.