EDMONTON – Local sources report that shopper Dan Hibbert has been talked into buying a bulk pack of Yamaha C7X Grand Pianos.
“My wife’s going to kill me for making such a large purchase without consulting her, but this deal is so good that the salesman said he was about to sell out,” Hibbert said. “And all I had to do to save $82,999 was spend $580,993! Plus GST.”
“I try not to indulge in too much consumerism, but when the sales guy pointed out that I could impress my wife by playing a Chopin polonaise in the living room, the bedroom, the kitchen, the dining room, both bathrooms, in the garage, and on the patio, well, I just had to pull the trigger,” Hibbert said. “I don’t want to be the schmuck who gets divorced because he can’t play his wife live piano music while she’s cooking or bathing. Plus he threw in a free metronome!”
Hibbert had promised himself that he’d limit his shopping to a sixer of televisions, a pallet of salad tongs, a thousand-pack of furnace filters, and a lifetime supply of hamster cages.However, he couldn’t resist what seemed like the perfect way to finally learn how to play the piano.
“Oh man, is that two-four of oboes 10 percent off? And it comes with a toque with a treble clef on it? I’m going to have to come back,” Hibbert said as he left the store.
At press time, Hibbert was asking someone in the parking lot to watch his eight grand pianos while he ran back inside to buy a ladder and a large rope.