shopping Archives - The Beaverton

Tag: shopping

In historic first, Dollarama opens second cash

MONTREAL –  A local Dollarama defied every expectation and opened a second cash register at the St. Laurent location in the plateau at approximately 3:44 PM on Friday. The register was open…


Gift certificate squandered

CALGARY – Frank Benton has wasted the $150 Best Buy gift card his parents gave him for Christmas, despite spending weeks carefully thinking about how to use it. Local sources report that Benton h…


Editorial: Where are all the White Fridays?

By: Jordan Peterson Imagine if you will, a sale of sorts, in which the hierarchical notion of sovereignty and power is given directly back to the consumer. This individual person of power, which …


Black Friday deal just last year’s price

MISSISSAUGA – Retailers are embracing this year’s Black Friday by offering consumers the deal of a lifetime, the chance to buy products at last year’s regular prices. Naomi Hoffman eagerly …


Woman shops for new wardrobe, like it matters

MONTREAL – A local woman has begun shopping for brand new clothes, even though nothing fucking matters anymore.  “I’m sick of everything I own”, says Layla Veenstra, who just finished a doc…