Pubnico, NS – The group of fishermen who have been waging a campaign to stop Mi’kmaq fishermen from exercising their treaty rights to engage in lobster fishing are confident that if they just commit one more violent attack the rest of Canada will realize they’re the good guys in all this.
“Burning a van and poisoning an Indigenous fisherman’s lobster didn’t seem to win us a lot of support,” said Darrin Comeau. “So naturally there is only one solution: burn more vans and poison more lobsters. Then the world will wake up.”
“It’ll just be like that sketch where two Nazis realize they might be the bad guys, only in reverse.”
Despite the Canadian people’s constant willingness to believe that, in any confrontation between Indigenous Peoples and white colonizers over Indigenous rights the Indigenous people are wrong and should “get over it”, the violent actions of the white fishermen have actually managed to turn public sentiment against them.
“Each time we physically attack someone just for trying to earn a modest living it feels like thousands of Canadians learn something new about the Supreme Court’s decision upholding treaty rights, or reconsider why they were so angry about the anti-pipeline blockade earlier this year. Maybe we just haven’t attacked the right people yet?” wondered one member of the violent mob who didn’t wish to be named.
“At least the RCMP are still on our side,” he added.
In related news Canadian media have announced that they will continue to refer to Mi’kmaq treaty rights to fish lobster, as decreed legal by the Supreme Court, as “something Indigenous fishermen claim they are allowed to do.”