MONTREAL – Faced with mounting calls for the company to issue refunds to passengers whose travel was cancelled due to COVID-19 instead of just travel vouchers, Air Canada CEO Calin Rovinescu has insisted they just don’t have the time, as most of their days are taken up with firing their loyal workforce.
“I’d love to see people whose travel was cancelled and who probably need the money right now get reimbursed, but we’re just real slammed right now,” said Rovinescu as he indiscriminately stamped the word ‘fired’ on a stack of employee files.
“You know how long it takes to tell thousands of employees they’re done-zo? Guarantee you that a bunch of them cry and that just takes forever,” he added, calling security to escort another dozen employees out of the building.
Even though Air Canada has received approximately 10 cargo planes worth of 100 dollar bills from the government in relief funds, and is holding 2.6 billion dollars in prepaid passenger income from cancelled flights, that hasn’t stopped top executives from spending their time running around airports shouting ‘You’re Fired’ at anyone they see wearing an Air Canada vest.
“I called them and demanded the money I pre-paid for my flight to Italy,” said disgruntled customer Anita Dobrick. “And they told me they were sorry but they had to let me go. I tried to explain that I don’t work for Air Canada but they just kept trying to fire me.”
Rovinescu said he understood the customers’ anger. But said that he would make it up to them by giving them an extra voucher allowing them to fire up to 3 Air Canada employees of their choosing.