TORONTO — While getting heckled during a Liberal Party fundraiser, Prime Minister Justin Trudeau elected to turn the event into a spontaneous “Comedy Roast of Indigenous Protesters” in an attempt to distract from the ongoing SNC Lavalin scandal.
“Thank you for your donation,” was the first of many roast-style burns delivered by Trudeau, as a First Nations protester was escorted from the room. PMO staffers report that, sensing an opportunity to change the channel from his government’s long-running SNC-Lavalin scandal, Trudeau immediately shifted from “Prime Minister” to “Roast Minister.”
“How many scientists does it take to get mercury contamination out of a river?” Trudeau asked the stunned crowd. “I have no idea, because I haven’t sent any of the ones that I promised during the campaign,” he answered, drawing silence from the audience and protesters.
“More like ‘SN-See You Later’, am I right,” Trudeau quipped as his tight five ballooned to a full-length roast set.
As the night wore on, no one was spared as Trudeau went around the dias, roasting not only the Grassy Narrows First Nation protesters, but his fellow Liberal Party members as well. “Ralph Goodale is here tonight. Ralph is so old he remembers when people thought my election was going to be the beginning of a repaired relationship between Canada and Indigenous Peoples. Stay down, Ralph!”
Trudeau even used his time to roast party members who were not in attendance “Next I’d like to thank Jody Wilson-Raybould for everything she’s done for the Liberal Party. I’d prefer to thank her face-to-face, but she’s currently stabbing me in the back!”
Trudeau also tried to win the crowd back with jokes about the opposition: “Stephen Harper couldn’t be here tonight – He’s too busy removing the Andrew Scheer mask he wears to work every day.” However by that time the PM couldn’t be heard over the sounds of people leaving for the exits.
The day after Trudeau’s impromptu roast, he said he hoped that his apology to the First Nations protesters would change the channel from his jokes about First Nations protesters which he’d hoped would change the channel from SNC Lavalin, but “wasn’t betting on it.”
In response to his roast of First Nations protesters, Rebel Media has named Justin Trudeau their “Rising Comedian of the Year”.