Whitehorse grandfather from 2075 regales grandchildren about surviving with only 2 Starbucks locations - The Beaverton
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Whitehorse grandfather from 2075 regales grandchildren about surviving with only 2 Starbucks locations

GREATER WHISTLE BEND AREA – An 88-year-old grandfather recounted another harrowing tale of survival when the fledgling capital only had a mere two locations.

“Back in my day, you could only get a Caramel Macchiato or Brown Sugar Shortbread Latte in the two downtown area Starbucks,” explained Rythe to his three grandchildren before taking a long puff on his e-pipe. “And the two stores were more than a mile apart. You’d have to drive in the cold, icy winter when we still had winters. You couldn’t just drone order it like the kids do these days.”

The coffeehouse chain recently opened its 400th store and drone-port in the serving a population of 100,000, but times were not always as convenient for the early 21st century pioneer Byron Rythe.

“And it was only in the year of twenty-seventeen that townspeople finally got a third Starbucks located some 300 feet beside another Starbucks…but you still had to go into a grocery store.”

“Wow!” the captivated children exclaimed in unison.

The senior Whitehorse resident detailed how he once had to wait over five-minutes for what was called an old-fashioned ‘pour-over’ made by a non-robotic employee when the brew of his liking was not available.

“Times were tough and primitive, but we managed stay alive in Canada’s North.”

Despite Rythe’s visible fatigue, he gave into the demands of his energetic descendants to retell another classic tale: The Great Internet Outage of September 2015.

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