Trump accuses all 342 million Americans of also being in Epstein Files
WASHINGTON D.C. – With the release of thousands of emails from notorious sex trafficker Jeffrey Epstein implicating President Donald Trump, the POTUS is deflecting by boldly alleging that e…
Simon Fraser University renamed to “Students Failed to get into UBC”
BURNABY, B.C. – After much deliberation, Simon Fraser University President Joy Johnson announced that the university has renamed itself to “Students Failed to get into the University of Bri…
The Beaverton will tell Doug Ford a tunnel under the 401 is the dumbest idea of all time for just 8.5 million
“We’re willing to negotiate down to 8.2.” Luke and the Panel (Ian MacIntyre and Nile Seguin) delight in the chaos consuming the Conservative Party, wonder why the Democrats are …
“Trump is a pedophile” email raises questions about whether Trump is a pedophile
WASHINGTON, D.C. – With many of Jeffrey Epstein’s documents and emails now available to the public, subtle messages from the disgraced financier like “Donald Trump is a sex criminal I have done s…
Long awaited sex bots arrive, immediately self destruct rather than deal with men
LAS VEGAS – A massive fire destroyed the RealGirlz Headquarters in Las Vegas, Nevada on Friday morning which CEO and founder Jeff Morrow called a “deliberate act of arson.” Morrow, who firs…
“AI is not a threat” says man threatened by vibrators
BURNABY, B.C. – A local man exceedingly wary of vibrators also insists that artificial intelligence is not a threat. “AI is just one tool in our toolkit,” says Tyler Bowman, 31, who has never suc…
Demonic dog baring teeth and growling just happy to see you, says owner
ARNPRIOR, ON – Local residents expressing concern over the behaviour of an aggressive dog were reassured by its owner that he is actually quite friendly and loves people. Residents walking …
Answering your questions about the Ostrich story your uncle won’t stop posting about
You have probably seen your right wing family and friends post a lot about ostriches lately. And, since you don’t follow Rebel News and a lot of twitter accounts with fucktrudeau and fringe…
Pregnant woman startled by unexpected symptom of everyone being really nice to her
VANCOUVER – Sarah Jenkins, 32, who is seven months pregnant with her first child, has reportedly had some difficulty adjusting to a strange new symptom: colleagues, acquaintances, and even strang…
Rogers commemorates Blue Jays World Series Run with new statue of Ted Rogers
TORONTO – Rogers Communications, proud owner of the only Major League Baseball team in Canada, revealed plans to celebrate their 2025 World Series run with a second statue of company founde…
