TORONTO – Local man Eric Braiser is currently approaching the half-hour mark of politely listening to his friend Sarah talk about what a nightmare her recent flight out of Pearson was. R…
Tag: travel
Sick fuck prefers middle seat
TORONTO — An Air Canada flight to Orlando was grounded Thursday after it was revealed that a sick fuck on board actually requested to sit in the middle seat. “When I asked if he’d mind switching …
Dad who always insists his family get to the airport six hours early grateful his time has come
Whitby, ON – Local father Winston Brown, who has always insisted his family arrive at Toronto Pearson airport no less than 6 hours before their flight’s scheduled departure time, took…
Local gay finally able to cross the street after town paints rainbow crosswalk
JUBILEE, ONT. — After years of only being able to walk on the north side of Main Street, noted homosexual Robert Huxley is at long last able to see what the other side of the road is like. “I wa…
Modern Carmen Sandiego? This woman has 2 airport codes in her Insta bio
TORONTO OR VANCOUVER? – In a move reminiscent of the ever elusive, world-traveling children’s character Carmen Sandiego, Canadian influencer Megan Jones shocked followers yesterday when she…
Let’s Go Brandon, Manitoba! tourism campaign deemed failure
BRANDON, MB – The Tourism Board of Manitoba had prematurely ended a campaign designed to draw travelers to the city of Brandon, Manitoba, citing ‘unforeseen circumstances.’ Mackenzie …
Local 12th-grader excited to spend gap year backpacking around house
QUINTE WEST, ON — Local 17-year-old Hunter Ryan is finalizing plans for his long-anticipated one-year backpacking tour of his parents’ house. “It’s gonna be an awesome chance to spread my w…
Oh No: This COVID hotel has themed rooms
Need yet another reason to postpone travel during this once-in-a-century global pandemic? This quarantine hotel has you covered – by mandating themed rooms for all international arrivals! T…
Nation’s lonesome travellers sick of telling wayward dogs to “g’on now, get”
BOXCAR JUNCTION – In a rare break from nomadic life, the nation’s lonesome travellers assembled today inside a moving freight car they all hopped into, to declare they are sick of telling w…
Report: India’s lockdown leads to 500% drop in white people finding themselves
TORONTO – According to a report released by the University of Toronto, the COVID-19 travel restrictions in India has led to a 500% decrease in white Canadians “just finding themselves…