EDMONTON – A magical, talking snowman in the heart of the Edmonton river valley was recently identified as Brad Fishman, 48, who had slipped down a snowy hill three weeks earlier. “I was ju…
Tag: Santa
New winter boots promise to make your feet either extremely hot or a little wet
TORONTO – Boot manufacturers throughout Canada have finally given up and announced that all boots bought for winter 2019 will either make your feet uncomfortably hot or a little wet. “Have …
The disturbing backstory of this grown ass man’s Minions costume
MONTREAL, QC — As he slid his denim overalls over his bright yellow sweater while dancing to Q Lazzarus’s “Goodbye Horses,” Lain McNeal whispered to himself, “Would you fuck me? I would fuck me.”…
Santa’s nice list just one lady from Saskatoon
SASKATOON, SK – Leaked documents from earlier this morning have revealed the full contents of Santa Claus’ previously undisclosed naughty and nice lists, with many were surprised to learn t…
Elf to step down from shelf after allegations of inappropriate behaviour
The Living Room – Beloved children’s character Elf on the Shelf will be stepping down from his duties immediately amid allegations of ‘inappropriate behaviour’. Though the action is apparen…
Parents lining up to place children on lap of strange man wearing disguise
SURREY, BC – In what onlookers can only describe as a strange violation of everyday norms, parents from all over the community are waiting in line for up to half-an-hour in order to place t…
Standing up for tradition: This family still bathes Santa Claus every Christmas!
VANCOUVER – A lot of people think that true Christmas spirit is nowhere to be found, but those people haven’t met the Brown family – Arthur, Ellen, Trevor, and Caitlin – who sti…
Quiz: Are you on the Nice List or the Naughty List this year? A frivolous question, all mortals sin
It’s that time of year again! The smell of gingerbread is wafting from the kitchen, the tree is being decorated, and pretty soon jolly old St. Nick will be coming down the chimney. Will he be bri…
Nobody sure who gave Secret Santa gift of incriminating photographs
CALGARY – Nobody at the office is sure who gave Jake from accounting the thoughtful, but very unwanted Christmas gift of high-quality photographs that could destroy his professional and per…
Local mall Santa goes above and beyond, pretends he didn’t fight in Afghanistan
BURNABY, BC – Performing the role with grace and feeling, local man Connor McKenzie has never once in his time as a mall Santa let on that he fought for three years as part of the American-led c…