ABBOTSFORD, BC – Despite being void of any shampoo for the past 90 days, a 1.17 L bottle of TRESemmé shampoo still remains in a local man’s shower. The owner, Eric Mannix, has ignored pleas…
Tag: relationships
Fat guy, plus-sized woman walk through park holding hands
TORONTO – Observers at a local park yesterday watched as a really fat man walked holding hands with a curvaceous woman. “They were possibly a couple,” said one witness of the balding, overw…
Husband absent mindedly says words that will be thrown in his face for rest of life
MEDICINE HAT, AB – In between scrolling through Netflix and checking texts on his phone local man Garry Wood, 32, has casually uttered the seemingly random sequence of words that his wife, …
Report: Girlfriend still crying
A new report from behind the bathroom door has confirmed that yes, your girlfriend is still crying because of that thing you know you said and no, she won’t be stopping anytime soon. Confidential…
Lonely Woman Invents Shitty Boyfriend
VICTORIA, BC – Tired of her friends’ relationship conversations dominating group outings, local copywriter Ashley Tanner, 25, recently invented a distant and generally disappointing signifi…
Local friend busier than everyone else
TORONTO – Despite wanting to attend the engagement party of best friend Sophie Lahiri, local woman Tiffany Dale is busier than anyone else she knows and is completely unable to make the tim…
45 minutes into brunch, engaged couple still talking about their seating chart
CALGARY – Nearly an hour into their meal at Cassis Bistro, sources were reporting that engaged couple Matt Saracen and Julie Taylor were still sorting out the details of who would sit where…
Son, it’s time I told you about your father’s and my sex life
By Jeanette Francis Listen son, I know that this is the sort of thing that you’re not usually supposed to talk about with your children, but mama’s had a couple of wines and you’re cornered in th…