MENLO PARK, CA – After disappointing results in the latest quarter, Meta CEO Mark Zuckerberg sent out a notice to his workforce that the company is expelling 11,000 employees from corporeal…
Tag: Mark Zuckerberg
“Zuckerberg has too much power” says billionaire who vacations in space
VANCOUVER – Noted space vacationer and inventor of the world’s doucheiest car Elon Musk publicly criticized Facebook founder Mark Zuckerberg for holding too much social and political influe…
April Fools’ post on friend’s social media somehow less fun in era of constant misinformation
Nelson, BC – A lighthearted fib posted on a friend’s Facebook page failed to generate the intended joyful confusion in even one reader this April Fool’s Day in light of the fact that the in…
Cutting edge Facebook app lets you attend VR-meetings that should’ve been e-mails
MENLO PARK, CA – Facebook CEO Mark Zuckerberg has announced the release of Horizon Workrooms, an ultra-high-tech solution to the age-old problem of your boss needing to find new and expensi…
Facebook responds to antitrust lawsuits with acquisition of Justice Department
MENLO PARK, CA – In response to twin antitrust lawsuits launched by dozens of states and the federal government, social media giant Facebook has purchased the United States Justice Departme…
Police seek public’s help identifying looters
American authorities are asking for the public’s help in a nationwide manhunt for two men caught on camera looting during a time of emergency. Witnesses say the men pictured took advantage of a h…
Facebook down: Millions of users took to the streets to yell out their personal data in hopes of being heard by advertisers, spy agencies
MENLO PARK, CA – Millions of loyal Facebook users took to the streets across North America and Europe to yell out their personal data during an outage earlier today. “I live in San Antonio,…
Stop acting like you haven’t also used Facebook to spy on people
EDITORIAL by Mark Zuckerberg Look, I’m still taking a lot of heat for the way Facebook collected data that may or may not have been used to spy on its users. Do I deserve to shoulder some blame f…
Facebook revealed to be pyramid scheme, first users only ones to make friends
Menlo Park, CA – 2.2 billion Facebook users were shocked when it was revealed today that Facebook is the largest friend-based Ponzi scheme in history and the vast majority of users had made…
Facebook’s new algorithm to block fake news and pictures of Kim’s stupid fucking baby
MENLO PARK, CALIFORNIA – After continued criticisms about its role in the 2016 Election, Facebook’s CEO, Mark Zuckerberg announced that his company would be implementing a new algorithm to stop t…