Toronto, ON – Loblaws CEO Galen Weston Jr. has recently explained to politicians on Parliament Hill that his record-breaking profits during difficult economic times are only due to Canadian…
Tag: grocery
FreshCo and Food Basics announce they are actually two different places
MISSISSAUGA/TORONTO – The discount grocery store chains FreshCo and Food Basics have released a joint statement stating unequivocally that they are two different grocery stores, and not the…
Grocery bag really excited to become garbage bag
OTTAWA – A report coming from the nation’s bathrooms and under the kitchen sinks have found that your plastic grocery bag is really excited to be used as a garbage bag. “Mih Yinkd hah…
Cute dog on street delays mental breakdown by 50 minutes
KAMLOOPS, BC – A man’s mental breakdown was put on hold for nearly an hour today, after coming into contact with Wellesley, a Pembroke Welsh corgi, while waiting for the bus. “Awwwww!” excl…
Environmentally conscious daredevil risks it all by purchasing one fewer grocery bag
KINGSTON — Stunning fellow customers and cashiers alike with his nerves of steel, local adrenaline junkie Todd Foster struck a blow for the environment this Thursday by only asking for 4 gr…
Local woman’s overflowing junk drawer threatens to engulf entire town
Salmon Springs, BC – The Canadian Forces have been called out to mitigate the disaster that struck Salmon Springs BC after Lucy Gerhardt opened her junk drawer this morning. “I’ll get…
Loblaws accused of price-fixing scheme on apology gift cards from last price-fixing scheme
Brampton, ON — Grocery chain Loblaws, which recently offered $25 gift cards to apologize for a nationwide 14-year-long price fixing scheme on bread, has been accused of subjecting the gift …