EDMONTON – Upon the news that Danielle Smith has won the UCP leadership race and will be the province’s new premier, Albertans heaved a collective sigh of relief that socialist madman Jason…
Tag: Featured Post
Tim Hortons somehow more reputable than Hockey Canada
TORONTO – The nation was stunned and confused this week after the actions taken by two pillars of Canadian society resulted in the disorienting feeling that Tim Hortons is now a more reputa…
Nation shocked that Poilievre would bother hiding connection to misogynists
OTTAWA – In the wake of a damming Global News Report that Pierre Poilievre used a hidden tag in his YouTube videos to appeal to online misogynistic groups, Canadians from coast to coast are…
Experts debate who is faster: Connor McDavid or The Sponsors fleeing Hockey Canada
TORONTO – For years Connor McDavid has been seen as the fastest force in hockey but now insiders are wondering whether he has been bested by a new competitor: the sponsors getting away from…
Tory assures voters he only needs one more term to make Toronto as inhospitable as it is expensive
TORONTO – Running for re-election Mayor John Tory has promised voters that, with just one more term, he can complete his mission to make Toronto just as terrible to live in as it is crippli…
Hockey fans training hard to get into peak trash talking shape
MONTREAL – Local Habs fan Jeff Donoghue says he needs just a few more training sessions before he is in mid-season trash talking shape. “Other off-seasons I’ve kind of let my ga…
Pierre Poilievre hopes to inspire future generations of kids who carry briefcases in high school to enter politics
OTTAWA – Adapting to his role as Conservative Party Leader, Pierre Poilievre is hoping to use his position not just to advocate for his positions but to inspire future generations of kids w…
Friend group excited to spend all of Nuit Blanche trying to find each other
TORONTO – With Nuit Blanche expected to return for the first time since the pandemic, a local group of buddies is excited to spend the whole event unsuccessfully trying to meet up. “It’s go…
“And m’lady will have the McNuggets” says modern chevalier
EDMONTON – A scene straight out of an old-fashioned romance is unfolding at the West Edmonton Mall McDonald’s as a modern knight is ordering his date’s meal for her. “Tell me, do you desire both …
‘Alberta Is Calling’ ads lure Ontarians with chance to live in Province that is fucked up in a slightly different way
TORONTO – Alberta’s provincial government has launched a full court press to convince Ontarians sick and tired of dealing with all the Province’s problems to move to Alberta so …
