BOSTON – After explicitly praising Donald Trump’s support of their team and even hoping they can “win for him” U.S. hockey players discovered what Ted Cruz and numerous ot…
Tag: Featured Post
Curling ad contains over two seconds of sizzling action
OTTAWA – Television viewers across the country have been wowed by a 30 second curling commercial that contains nearly 2.5 seconds of intense curling action. “I always thought curling was just an …
Canadian hockey fans prepare to call the 4 Nations Face-Off a brilliant idea or some made-up bullshit depending on whether we win
MONTREAL – As Team Canada gets set to play its first game in the inaugural 4 Nations Face-Off, fans across the country are ready to either celebrate a generation-defining victory or dismiss a tot…
Poilievre hits play on the ‘don’t know what you’ve got til it’s gone’ part of Big Yellow Taxi, stares at photo of Trudeau
OTTAWA – Conservative insiders are growing concerned about Pierre Poilievre’s behaviour in recent days, as he is spending hours in his bedroom playing Joni Mitchell’s Big Yellow…
Editorial: Trump underestimates how proud, united and, most importantly, petty Canadians are
By: Chris Standin President Trump has gone ahead with his long rumoured plans to put a 25% tariff on all Canadian goods sold in the United States (other than energy, which got 10%). He believes h…
5 ways to eroticise Groundhog Day because you’re busy on Valentine’s
The most romantic day of the year is almost here, but what if you’re busy this Valentine’s Day? Don’t start preparing for divorce court just yet; with a little planning and the right attitude, Gr…
Injured ham sandwich rushed to Mayo Clinic
ROCHESTER, MN — Reports are coming in that a ham and cheese sandwich suffered a grievous injury in its internal ingredients, necessitating medical evacuation to the Mayo Clinic. “This is about as…
Everything Doug Ford was happy to do without asking for a Mandate from the electorate
Doug Ford has announced Ontarians will go to the polls this February. Even though he is only 2.5 years into his current regime, Ford says he needs “a strong mandate” from the people t…
China’s new and cheaper magic beans shock America’s unprepared magic bean salesmen
NEW YORK CITY – America’s magic bean market is in turmoil after a Chinese company unveiled a competing bean that’s less than one tenth the price but still just as useless. “DeepBean’s new beans o…
Problematic but brilliant doctor who plays by his own rules will put your new liver where he damn well pleases
TORONTO – Renegade doctor Lance Falcon is shocking the medical establishment with his brilliant but wildly unorthodox thoughts on where your new liver should go, according to dazzled reporters. “…
