EDMONTON – In truly alarming news it appears that a group of 8 teenagers at the mall is looking at you, a fully adult man with kids, a mortgage and a Costco membership. “Stay cool, st…
Tag: fear
Oh no! Unread email continues to exist
WINNIPEG – Local account manager Meghan Gessele was horrified this week to discover that, upon returning to her workstation after using the restroom, an unread email she had left unread was…
Sound of three-ring binder snapping shut awakens primal fear in man
ABBOTSFORD, BC — Father-of-two Allen Marks was caught off-guard when he found himself suddenly gripped by white-knuckled horror while taking his children, Angie and Michelle, back-to-school shopp…
Fear of failure completely justified
LONDON, ON – A recent study from Western University has determined that your fear of failure is completely justified. The study – lead by esteemed Sociology Professor John Daniels and…
“I refuse to live in fear of COVID,” says woman who lives in fear of socialism
St. Catharines, ON – Amid the second wave of the COVID-19 pandemic, 49-year-old Ontario resident Shirley Mills has informed family and friends that she refuses to live in fear of the virus,…
Local man schedules his authoritarianism anxiety around his pandemic anxiety
RED DEER, MB – Local man Marcus Strohn has reported creating an efficient schedule that balances his anxiety over the worldwide COVID-19 pandemic with his anxiety over the creeping global m…
Woman’s fear of flying traced back to fact flying is scary
TORONTO – After much self-discovery and countless hours of psychotherapy, Ana Simonetta, has officially discovered that her deep seated fear of flying on a plane is derived from the undenia…
Local woman runs at night because her greatest motivator is fear
KINGSTON, ON – Tired of giving up halfway through her daytime workouts, Kate Brown starts all her 5 km runs after 9:30 pm to ensure she stays motivated and afraid. “I’m just not a gym person,” Ka…
REPORT: Everyone remembers that awkward thing you did last year and they talk about it constantly
FORT MCMURRAY, AB – Confirming longtime suspicions, evidenced reports are coming in which confirm that, yes, everyone remembers that awkward thing you did last year and they talk about it c…
QUIZ: Are you homophobic, Islamophobic or arachnophobic?
With so many irrational fears out there these days, it’s hard to keep track of what you have an extreme, deep-seated aversion toward. So much that it can be damn near impossible to figure out if …