GENEVA – This week (or maybe it was last week, or the week before, it doesn’t really matter) the UN’s Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change released their latest report detailing the ho…
Tag: climate crisis
Scientists declare 2 degree warming target was possible until you left bathroom lights on last night
GENEVA – A consortium of environmental scientists released a declaration that humanity’s accelerating march toward climate catastrophe had previously been avoidable before you left the ligh…
Closer to Earth than it’s been in decades, Jupiter can’t believe how much Earth has let itself go
THE SOLAR SYSTEM – As Jupiter recently made its closest approach to the planet Earth since 1963, it was shocked and saddened to see how much the only habitable planet in the known universe …
Climate crisis: Popsicle consumption no longer looks erotic
OTTAWA – As temperatures rise across Canada, reports are rolling in that the searing heat has eliminated the titillation watching someone eat a popsicle used to provide. “My partner used to slowl…
80s nostalgia peaks with return of hole in ozone layer
WATERLOO – The 80s revival inspired by the hit Netflix show Stranger Things has reached new heights as scientists announced they have discovered a hole in the ozone layer. “If you thought t…
Mona Lisa responds to climate protest with weird little smile, like this is some fucking game
PARIS – Visitors to the Louvre today reacted with shock as a one-man climate protest took the form of a cake being thrown at star attraction Mona Lisa, whose own reaction to the ballistic b…
Furious Liberals deny accusation that they’re trying to protect the environment
OTTAWA – Environment Minister Steven Guilbeault is adamant that the Conservatives are lying about the Liberals imposing a new green tax on pickup trucks and wants to assure the public that …
Climate Change considering makeover to stand out amongst shiny new calamities
NEW YORK – A dire new report released by the Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change (IPCC) on the horrific effects of the climate crisis has been swiftly overshadowed by news about the R…
Public health advisory urges British Columbians to avoid staying inside, going outside
VANCOUVER – Vancouver Coastal Health and Fraser Health have issued a joint public health advisory today urging British Columbians to avoid staying inside due to extreme heat, and also to av…
5 tips for reporting on unprecedented weather without mentioning climate change
Thanks to the climate chaos unleashed by global warming, extreme weather is getting more press now than ever. This can put journalists like you in quite a pickle if you’re writing about these dea…