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Progressive Pope gives up celibacy for Lent

HOLY SEE – Continuing the trend of his liberal reign as Catholicism’s spiritual leader, Pope Francis I has announced that he will be giving up celibacy for Lent this year. As modern traditi…


UPDATE: Pope resigns to spend more time with kids

VATICAN CITY – Pope Benedict XVI announced his intention to resign from the Papacy on Sunday, and sources close to the Pope are saying he’s excited to spend more time with kids. “He’s got a lot o…


Pope resigns, refuses to give up hat

VATICAN CITY – In addition to his sudden resignation as leader of the Catholic Church, Pope Benedict XVI shocked the College of Cardinals by refusing to give up his ceremonial mitre. “I can no lo…


Pope no longer returning God’s calls

VATICAN CITY – Pope Benedict XVI, Bishop of Rome and Servant of the Servants of God, has not been returning God’s phone calls, according to Pontifical Household sources. “It’s really …