OTTAWA – Last weekend, Canada’s Ministry of National Defence confirmed their main strategy to fend off a potential invasion from the United States is to wait for American forces to be…
Tag: Canada
Google Maps changes name to Lake America after people start to forget tech giants also pretty awful
MOUNTAIN VIEW, CA – Google Maps has changed the name of Lake Ontario to “Lake America” for their U.S. users, after realizing President Trump’s willful malevolence had dist…
Canada’s nerds demand state funeral for Montreal-born voice of Optimus Prime
OTTAWA – Following news of the passing of Montreal-born actor Peter Cullen, best known as the voice of Optimus Prime, nerds across Canada are demanding Ottawa hold a state funeral for the l…
Tariff talks that you assumed already collapsed collapse
OTTAWA — Minutes before President Trump’s midnight deadline, tariff talks between Canada and the United States that you assumed failed weeks ago failed. Prime Minister Carney addressed the nation…
Art Of The Deal author fails to secure deal with friendliest nation on planet
WASHINGTON D.C. – President Trump, a man who was elected based on his self-proclaimed “deal-making genius”, has failed to secure a trade deal with Canada, a nation most known fo…
Beaverton Breakdown: Every Canadian premier’s demands in return for agreeing to restock American alcohol
Reports indicate Prime Minister Carney has asked Canadian premiers to remove their individual U.S. alcohol bans, as federal officials attempt to finalize a trade deal with the Trump administratio…
Trump throws himself military parade after bravely chickening out on Canadian tariffs
WASHINGTON D.C. – Hours after heroically declaring a pause on tariffs aimed at destroying the Canadian economy, President Trump has organized yet another military parade for himself to comm…
Canadians just so goddamn tired of this bullshit
CANADA – Canadians across the country have collectively unleashed a sigh of agonized frustration while simultaneously stating “Again with this bullshit?” “Help me out in u…
Meet the Canadian civil servant responsible for sending our wildfire smoke to the U.S.
With wildfire smoke drifting down from Canada into Michigan, New York and other states, numerous Americans have once again taken to social media to complain about Canada ruining their summers and…
“I would never have agreed to be a diplomat in Canada if I knew I’d have to be diplomatic to Canadians,” says Pete Hoekstra
OTTAWA – Tensions between Canada and the United States flared this week when US Ambassador Pete Hoekstra was captured on a live microphone admitting that he regretted his decision to accept…
