CALGARY – Anti-maskers celebrated today after the announcement that Daft Punk, pioneering electronic musicians known for monster hits like “Get Lucky” and their robot helmet aes…
Tag: Calgary
Man without savings account loves to discuss his concerns about the economy
CALGARY – A local man without a savings account has discovered a new passion for ripping on the nation’s complicated, finely balanced economy. “These are dark times for investors and financ…
Conservatives discover police bad
CALGARY – In the wake of Calgary police arresting, manhandling and threatening to taser a man for violating COVID regulations while playing hockey, the right wing was shocked to discover th…
Report: man who flossed two nights in a row finally has gotten life back together
CALGARY – In a big win, 32-year-old Dave Frescos has finally managed to gather the internal strength necessary to floss for two nights in a row after weeks quarantined alone in a basement a…
Local man eyes 2010 Fun-Run t-shirt as potential toilet paper substitute
CALGARY — With only two rolls remaining and the grocery stores empty, local pipe fitter Trevor Bilton has reported considering alternative toilet paper options during his COVID-19 quarantin…
Office Star Wars Guy upset about his space bullshit again
CALGARY – A new report from HR suggests that Brian from accounting, whose only prevailing personality trait is a lifelong obsession with Star Wars, is once again pissed about his space bull…
12-year-old girl ready to take on world after purchase of puka shell necklace
CALGARY, AB — Grade 4 student and fifth in line for being most popular, Cydney Applebaum, has reported feeling ecstatic after her recent purchase of a white puka shell necklace on a recent …