OTTAWA – To help combat record-high inflation and bring some relief to financially squeezed Canadians, The Bank of Canada announced Wednesday that they would hike the key interest rate for …
Tag: Bank of Canada
Bank of Canada introduces first vertical bill after employee forgets to select ‘Landscape mode’
OTTAWA – The Bank of Canada was forced to submit into circulation a vertical $10 bill after a worker at the Canadian Bank Note Company failed to select ‘Landscape mode’ from the print…
Interest rate hike leaves millions of millennials exactly the same
OTTAWA – People under the age of 35 are reeling after a 0.25% hike to the Bank of Canada’s key interest rate left their lives in no way different from before the rate hike. “This rate hike …
Government mandates foyer in every building after pressure from lobbyists
OTTAWA – Yielding to demands of lobby groups, the Trudeau government has passed legislation that requires all constructed dwellings in Canada to have a clearly defined waiting area. “It’s 2016,” …
Wealth Inequality at an all-time high, boasts Finance Minister
OTTAWA – Speaking to a conference of finance industry power brokers, Finance Minister Bill Morneau announced that, after years of coordinated government planning and effort, Canadian wealth…
New $20 bill to feature plus-size model
OTTAWA — The Bank of Canada has revealed that the new $20 bill will display the image of a plus-size female model, marking the first time that a full-figured woman has appeared on Canadian …
Overhead oxygen masks accidentally deployed at Bank of Canada’s fiscal update
OTTAWA — Canadian journalists and investors were sent into a panic after the Bank of Canada Governor deployed the press room’s emergency breathing apparatuses by mistake. The incident occur…
Report: Decreased interest rate will cause Canadian calendar increase of 2.7 days, or something
In the wake of the Bank of Canada’s recent interest rate cut and wide speculation about its impact on inflation, the housing market, and the economy as a whole, overwhelmed experts are now predic…
Bank of Canada Governor asks unemployed youth if they’ve considered serfdom
OTTAWA – With youth unemployment skyrocketing across Canada, Bank of Canada Governor Stephen Poloz is recommending that young people consider the ancient feudal status of serfdom to boost their c…
