CANMORE, AB- Oliver Jorgensen, a 14-month old baby who just learned to walk, has let everyone know that things are going very well in his attempt to carry around a priceless Ming Dynasty vase without breaking it.
“So far, so good!” Jorgensen said using body language and facial expression, “I think I can carry this around for a while! I have strong hands and freshly developed motor skills!”
Oliver’s parents, Ivy and Leonard, are taking Oliver to the museum for the first time and are currently horrified to see their baby in a situation that could be catastrophically expensive.
“Okay Oliver, put down the vase!” said Ivy a few seconds ago in an attempt to defuse the situation. “Don’t waggle your eyebrows at me like that! You’re in way over your head!”
Museum officials are bracing themselves for another potentially irreplaceable hole in their carefully curated collection, and are still dealing with the aftereffects of last year’s situation where a dog ran off with one of the dinosaur bones, causing an entire skeleton to collapse.
“Unfortunately, dealing with comically unlikely situations is just a part of running a museum,” explained the Canmore Museum’s curator, Shelby Lewiston. “We leave some room in the budget every year for events like a bunch of medieval armours falling onto each other like dominoes, but you can only sustain so many events of this nature and still stay in business.”
At press time, Baby Oliver was standing at the top of some stairs, getting ready to cry if anyone tried to take his beloved Ming Dynasty vase away from him.
