Heroic battle against cancer cut short by recovery
A woman’s courageous battle against cancer was cut short due to a speedy recovery, hospital doctors reported yesterday. “She’s healing quicker than expected,” explained Dr. Teeple of his patient,…
Gen-Y hipsters scour Internet for vintage mp3s
TORONTO, ON – According to a group of hipsters from Toronto’s Queen St. West area, the Internet is a “treasure trove” of vintage mp3 recordings. “There’s a great selection out there if you …
Otherwise normal colleague has only 26 Facebook friends
CALGARY, AB – Brad Henshaw, a 28-year-old outgoing staff member of a large market research firm, has only 26 Facebook friends – a number that suggests “There is something deeply wrong…
Tour guide lost for weeks
LASHBURN, SK – Over 19 days and 12 hours since beginning a routine 90-minute hop-on hop-off bus tour of Vancouver, lost tour guide Gary Grant and his charge of tourists unknowingly crossed …
Most boring diary ever kept hidden away like it was some sort of fucking gem, reports disappointed mother
KINGSTON, ON – The discovery of 15-year-old Stacey Bradenham’s very secret diary has proven disappointing for the Bradenhams, sources from the family report. “I was pretty excited at first,…
Hand-washing apparently still too complicated for 90% of the population
OTTAWA – Despite countless campaigns, television ads, posters, and educational programs, only a small portion of the Canadian population seems to have grasped the concept of washing their h…
