CHICAGO – Returning home for a Stanley Cup parade after a shocking Game 6 victory over the Boston Bruins, Chicago Blackhawks players were quick to credit the warrior spirit and enduring tranquility of their Native American forefathers as being the key element to their success.
“I think our aggressive forecheck and quick outlet passes were important in getting us the W,” said captain Jonathan Toews, “but not as important as playing with the same intensity as a Peorian hunter stalking an elk through the woods and rivers of the great plains.”
“Also our penalty kill was pretty key,” he added.
Asked if he felt good to have beaten a Boston team that looked so dominant in its previous two series, Hawks leading scorer and Conn Smythe winner Patrick Kane merely smiled, shook his head and said, “No friend. As fellow walkers of the great garden that is earth we must love one another and not strive for another’s undoing,” before chugging booze out of the cup and screaming “WOOOOOOOOOO!”
Team chief Joel Quenneville admitted he was not surprised by his team’s victory over Boston, as the long history of conflict between Native American tribes and the North American grizzly bear had shown the tribes’ ability to use tools and fashion weapons usually allowed them to come out on top.
“I would have been much more worried if we were playing a team with the name ‘famine,’ ‘muskets’ or ‘smallpox blankets,’ ‘” Quenneville said.
