AFRICA, 1 MILLION YEARS AGO – The Tun clan, a tribe of early humans located in Africa’s Cradle of Humankind, were floored recently by the emerging abilities of a young cave-polymath named Thagda...
Ontario to give low-income students free University education starting year after you graduate
TORONTO — The Ontario government announced this week a new program that will offer free tuition to all low-income students, and make post secondary education more affordable for middle income st...
Dropped out GOP candidates get together for last big fearmonger party
Washington D.C. – Before they went their separate ways the recently resigned Republican Presidential candidates all met up for a final chance to stoke the fires of irrational fear and hate. “I’m...
Local man on fat bike enjoys the slower-than-walking commute to work
WHITEHORSE — Despite the snail-pace daily commute to his workplace, local arctic bike enthusiast Greg Armitage insists he will continue biking through heavy snow, wind and ice even if it is fast...
Trudeau hints next Governor General may be giant Canada Goose
OTTAWA – In what is being hailed as a victory for diversity, Prime Minister Justin Trudeau has dropped several hints in the last week that the nation’s next head of state may well be a human-siz...
Study: All remaining Canadian journalists able to fit inside 1997 Volkswagen Jetta
TORONTO – A study by Professor Simone Caffrey at Ryerson University has shown that as a result of massive layoffs in Canada’s news organizations, all remaining Canadian journalists, when stacked...
Facebook sad face a real time-saver for those expressing condolences for dead grandmother
BURLINGTON – Users of popular social networking site Facebook are warmly receiving the new reaction icons that replaced the “Like” icon previously featured on the site, noting they are particularly us...
Federal Court gives medical marijuana patients right to grow pot even though Evan has the good shit
VANCOUVER – The Federal Court of Canada handed down a landmark decision today that grants patients prescribed marijuana the right to grow their own plants despite Evan already having pretty much...
Johnson & Johnson sued for $72m after baby powder revealed to contain actual powdered babies
JEFFERSON CITY, MISSOURI – A jury in the state of Missouri has ordered cosmetic company Johnson & Johnson to pay $72 million in damages after its trademark Baby Powder was found to contain “litera...
Canadians banned from Wheel of Fortune for calling the letter ‘Zed’
LOS ANGELES – Sony Productions has announced that Canadians will no longer be allowed on long-running American game show Wheel of Fortune due to irreconcilable cultural differences regarding the...
