Pixar unveils next movie: two-hour, uninterrupted shot of a kitten’s funeral
LOS ANGELES – In a bold move that has stunned film enthusiasts, animation juggernaut Pixar announced its next major release will simply be one long take of the funeral of a family’s cherish…
Former teacher Trudeau cracking down on cell phones nationwide
OTTAWA – Calling on his training as a former french and math teacher, Prime Minister Trudeau has started cracking down on cellphone use across the country. “Look, I don’t want to be the bad…
Report: Notley stepping down would to lead to 300% increase in Conservative government jobs
ALBERTA – Conservative critics of the Alberta NDP took Premier Rachel Notley to task this afternoon, claiming that her actions have put dozens of Conservative Members of Provincial Parliame…
Toronto Star tourism section claims Whitehorse’s Superstore a must see
The Toronto Star has named the Real Canadian Superstore in Whitehorse as the top attraction to visit while in the Yukon Territory. In the article, travel columnist Jennifer Welsh says the throwba…
Finally, a holiday that excludes orphans
Editorial by: Karen McCrindle Only once a year can families across many of Canada’s provinces celebrate a day they can call their own without having accommodate for those countless, illegitimate …
Two Tinder bots really hitting it off
TORONTO – In a heartwarming Valentine’s Day development, chatbots Caleb and Brianna, initially programmed to fool and then defraud human users on the popular dating app Tinder, have allegedly swi…
Mediocre man seeks perfect woman
TIMMINS, ON – A local man seeks a muse worthy of epic poetry, despite his average face and mildly boring disposition. Jordan Ronson, an insurance adjuster in his 30s, posted a profile on Ok…
Grad student buys fancy bottle of ketchup for Valentine’s Day dinner
HALIFAX – Dalhousie graduate student Michael Conroy surprised his girlfriend on Valentine’s Day with a luxurious macaroni and cheese dinner, which he paired with an expensive glass bottle o…
The one guy who likes All-Star games, Sting and Cirque du Soleil going pretty nuts right now
With the NBA All Star game taking place in Toronto this year, sources have confirmed that Andrew Hall, the one and only person who likes top-notch All Star basketball, singer songwriter Sting, an…
Scalia declared dead in most popular ruling of his career
CIBOLO CREEK RANCH, TX – U.S. Supreme Court Justice Antonin Scalia was ruled dead by officials in west Texas this weekend, in what experts and colleagues agree is unquestionably the most popular …
