Overview: First Past The Post, often abbreviated as FPP, 1PTP, FPTP, or KILLME, is the electoral system Canada currently uses. FPTP is the 2005 Honda Civic of electoral systems. Nobody really wants it...
Forgetful anarchist accidentally sets fire to own car
MONTREAL — An inattentive member of an anti-gentrification gang accidentally set her own car ablaze, Wednesday, during a planned attack on cafés, upscale clothing stores and trendy barber shops ...
Scotiabank admits ‘richer than you think’ slogan was a math error
TORONTO – In a startling revelation this morning Scotiabank admitted that their famous slogan ‘You’re richer than you think’ is, in fact, not true, and only arose becaus...
Trudeau defends meeting with Chinese billionaires by explaining he wanted to make a lot of money
OTTAWA – After photos surfaced showing Chinese billionaires meeting with Prime Minister Justin Trudeau at a party fundraiser, the PM defended himself by stating that he only met with the foreign...
Local millionaire depressed after meeting local billionaire
VANCOUVER – After what should have been a typical night of eating fresh-caught lobster stuffed inside still-breathing lobster, local millionaire Thane Anderson returned home despondent following...
Trump ‘thank you’ tour begins with stop at Macedonian fake news website
VELES – President-elect Donald Trump kicked off his tour to celebrate and thank the people who helped him get elected with a special stop at the Macedonian fake news website that had tricked mil...
Local woman turns to Pinterest to plan perfect hysterectomy
BRAMPTON, ON- Looking to get all the latest tips, tricks and fashions, Brampton woman, Doreen McFay, is using popular app Pinterest to plan her perfect hysterectomy. She is part of a growing trend of ...
Outdoor rinks open in time for return of weird guys who skate-dance alone
TORONTO – Despite the fluctuating temperatures this fall, the opening of outdoor rinks across the city has coincided with another holiday tradition: the arrival of strange gentlemen who always jive, g...
6 Healthy Recipes to Look at Before Ordering Pizza
Everyone knows the Holidays are brutal for eating healthy. But they don’t have to be! Here are 6 nutritious, filling, energizing recipes you can look at before you give up and order pizza yet ag...
Village idiot polling strongly in village election
BRICKFORD, ON – Riding on an international wave of anti-intellectualism, local fool Muddy Tom holds a commanding lead in the ongoing village election. “Really, him?” said rival candidate Madelei...
